Wednesday, June 23, 2004

More Beheadings

Well, there will be no more need to speculate if it is the mythical Al-Zarqawi behind these beheadings. With victim Kim Sun-il the evil-doers helpfully posed in front of a banner that said "Unity and Jihad" which is the same name that someone has been using who has been sending the videos to Al-Jazeera. The person or persons responsible for sending those videos also use the name Al-Zarqawi, so,'s really him. As most of you know, it is impossible to sign on to a discussion forum under a different name. You have to be an ADVANCED HACKER for such a feat.

This particular beheading came at a good time for the Bush junta. While the other beheadings have not gone over very well, resulting, it seems, in yet a further diminishing of support for the Iraq war, this one was different. You see, for some reason known only to the many news agencies who've reported this story, Mr. Kim's religion was featured prominently. I don't just mean "Christian," which includes a lot of people that some of our fundamentalist friends would hardly consider "saved," but "evangelical Christian."

Now for those of you playing the home edition of this game, you'll need to understand a few things about so-called evangelicals.

1. They are, along with the Super Rich, George Bush's base.

2.Evangelicals are as much into martyrs as Muslim fundamentalists, even if they have to bend a few facts to create them. Witness that girl at Columbine who supposedly was shot for denying God. Nevermind that lots of people were shot who may or may not have a had a "personal relationship with Jesus," or that the story was later discredited. That incident was both an inspiration and an important confirmation of...

3. Christians are a PERSECUTED MINORITY in the United States. Hang on, there, Chester. I KNOW they have a president in the White House and an Asscroft in the Justice Department. I KNOW they have immense wealth. I KNOW they even have their own cable networks, complete with slick, professional "newscasts." These guys really believe that they are on the verge of being herded into gulags, all because they can't make public schools force Jews, Hindus and atheists to sing "Jesus Loves Me." And they are deadly serious about this, so don't laugh. In fact, it is one of the biggest subtexts in politics currently. Whether they are a force on their own, or merely being manipulated by other, more sinister forces, I'll let the reader decide.

All right then. At an extreme ebb for support for the war (Fakey fake media polls show less than 50% support for the war. A real poll would no doubt show that the war is now only supported by a guy named Wendell from Hoboken who does nothing buy play Counterstrike and eat Doritos all day.), comes a Christian martyr. Go back and read the coverage. EVERY story mentions prominently that the guy was an Evangelical Christian.

Oh, a quick aside. If you are a Christian, please go read the Gospels. I think you may be surprised that, contrary to popular belief, Jesus did not support TORTURE and the WHOLESALE SLAUGHTER OF INNOCENT CIVILIANS. Yeah, it's true. Evidently the guy was actually kind of non-violent. Go figure.

But back to our story. This poor, confused man, who hoped to become a Christian missionary and put his Arabic speaking skills to better use than feeding American soldiers who were shooting up all his potential converts, was shown in video across the world pleading for his life....IN ENGLISH!!! As they say in the heavily abbreviated jargon of internet chat: WTF???

Now, someone who reads this site may have found an explanation for this. I've tried to think of one. His captors were, of course, evil Arabs, and the message was to the South Korean government. We know he spoke Arabic, because he was a translator. I'm going to go out on a limb here and say that he probably spoke Korean as well. Yet, he chose to give at least a portion of his plea in English. Maybe the guy just really understood who tells the South Koreans what to do. I don't know.

Anyway, I haven't seen it yet, but you'll soon see the rightwing Christian sites calling this man a martyr and rallying the troops to kill for Jesus. You can bet your entire collection of colorful WWJD bracelets and bumper stickers.

On a separate note: I got into a discussion with my Uncle the other day about the upcoming draft. He is a liberal but served in Vietnam, so he thinks other kids should have that opportunity as well. Or something. He's certainly against the war, but he was also concerned that our troops were stretched too thin. That, of course, is the point. If you occupy a country, you use up a lot of resources, so don't invade any countries and you won't need a draft. You see a simple...oh, nevermind.

Anyway, it occurred to me that we have troops all over the world who would be happy to help out. So I looked it up. How many countries do you think the U.S. military has bases in? Give up?

Scroll down for answer!!!

Keep scrolling!!!

Almost there!!!!

Survey says: 132. That's the official number, not counting any secret bases that may be out there. Folks there are only 190 countries in the world. (190 if you count Vatican City and 191 if you count East Timor, but if you do count East Timor, it could be rather embarrassing to the U.S. since we supported Indonesia as they basically tried to erase the population of East Timor right out of the almanac.)

That's over 700 bases on foreign soil. Guess how many foreign military bases are on U.S. soil? I'll give you a hint, it rhymes with Nero.

So, a little arithmetic will show you that our country has bases in 70 percent of the world's countries. Hmmm....maybe they don't hate us just because we love freedom.


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